I’ve applied for several jobs in your Glasgow Store. Please, please endeavor to get back to me as soon as you can. I’d very much like to work for you, as I am admittedly a bit of a techno freak – and even more so – an Apple enthusiast.
I have given you lots of money for iPods, Macs, iPhones and such over the years – so now I think it’s time that you give me some back. After all – I am a worthy candidate and between you and I – I would much rather work in a lovely, fun and vibrant setting such as an Apple Store than to sit in a grey, bleak office answering telephones all day long.
Where Apple is concerned, I am the preacher and the Windows peasants are the choir. Let me convert manys a sufferer of the impending plague (Windows 7) and the more notorious leprosy (Vista). Allow me this great opportunity to educate, inform, learn and earn with your lovely brand.
I’d be a valuable asset to your team and you can rest assured that my wage will be spent wisely. In your store of course!
So, please. Give this poor Northern Irish techno-freak a chance to earn a living. Don’t force him to have to take a job where he has to state at a ruddy PC all day long. *Shudder*
Yours sincerely,
Mr. Philip J Larkin
(BA Hons & Apple-Enthusiast-Extraordinaire)
